It won't bring happiness

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Made by: H. Tayrone


Today I’m not really being able to focus, so I’ll try to keep this one brief.


Yesterday I realized how nothing I ever achieved felt great. What I mean is that since all my projects don't get rewarded with some trophy, medal or something, they’re just things I learn how to do or projects the evolution is step by step so the progress isn’t surprising, I never get excited when I’m finally there. 

Like yes sure, it might be even better to be “rewarded” with knowledge or a big project working properly than with a medal, but goddamn it does it feel dull. I’m not even going with the mindset that I’m going to be happy once I finish a project, it’s just it doesn’t bring any emotions. 

I’m positive I’m not the only one who feels this way, and I believe this happens because in those cases you’re not really gaining something directly, nothing is being given to you, you had to work your way from the bottom, so when you finally get there you don’t even get to be happy because of course you got there, nobody gave you anything, you saw every step.

Imagine you woke up one day and had everything you are currently working for, if that happened to me I would be over the moon. But obviously that’s not how it works (Most of the time it doesn’t anyway)


Why am I saying all of this though? I guess the lesson I got was to not just build my life around what I work on. None of it will actually bring real happiness, and they might not bring happiness at all. What always made me happy was connecting with people.

I’m just afraid once I inevitably arrive there where I currently wish to be I never actually get to do what makes my life interesting. We’ll see.


That’s it for today’s episode.

Hope to see you tomorrow!


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