Wanting more isn't ungratefulness

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Made by: Friends

Read more from the original author:
The Unheard Rabeel – Medium

There is a strange guilt that comes with wanting more. Sometimes, I catch myself thinking about the things I still want from life, and then I immediately remind myself of everything I already have. You should be grateful. And I am. I really am. But sometimes, I am also tired. Sometimes I want more. And I have spent a long time wondering if those two feelings are allowed to exist together. Can I be thankful for what I have and still wish my life looked different? Can I love the people around me and still feel lonely sometimes? Can I appreciate how far I’ve come and still be disappointed that I’m not where I thought I would be by now? I think the answer is yes. Maybe it has always been yes. We just don’t talk about it enough.

There are days when I look at my life and feel incredibly lucky. I think about the people who have stayed, the little things that make an ordinary day softer, the opportunities I once prayed for, and the version of myself who had no idea she would make it this far. And yet, somewhere inside me, there is still a quiet voice saying, Is this all? Not because what I have isn’t enough. But because there are still parts of me that haven’t been lived yet. There are dreams I haven’t touched. Places I haven’t seen. Things I want to learn. A version of myself I haven’t met yet. And maybe wanting those things doesn’t make me ungrateful. Maybe it just means I’m human.

I think we sometimes confuse gratitude with settling. We’re told to appreciate what we have, and that’s beautiful advice. But somewhere along the way, we start believing that wanting more means we don’t appreciate enough. So we silence ourselves. We stop talking about the career we secretly want. The life we imagine when we’re alone. The places we’d love to go. The person we’d like to become. The things we wish we could change.

We tell ourselves, “Other people have it worse.” And they probably do. But someone’s pain being greater than yours doesn’t make your feelings disappear. You can acknowledge your blessings without pretending that nothing hurts. You can have a roof over your head and still feel lost. You can have people who love you and still wish someone understood you a little more deeply. You can be proud of yourself and still wish you had done some things differently. You can say Alhamdulillah and still whisper, I hope there is more for me. I don’t think those words contradict each other. I think they belong together.

Maybe gratitude isn’t about convincing yourself that you don’t need anything else. Maybe gratitude is simply saying, “I see what I have.” And hope is saying, “But I still believe there is more waiting for me.” Both can live in the same heart. I am learning that slowly.

Because life doesn’t always move according to the timeline we create in our heads. We grow up thinking certain things will happen by a certain age. We’ll have the career. We’ll know who we are. We’ll have everything figured out. We’ll feel settled. We’ll finally stop questioning ourselves. And then one day, you look around and realize you’re still figuring it out. Maybe everyone is. Some people are just better at hiding it. There are things I thought I would have by now. There are versions of my future I imagined so clearly that, when they didn’t happen, I didn’t just lose a plan. I lost a little piece of the person I thought I was going to become. And that hurt. But I’m beginning to understand that life isn’t necessarily late just because it doesn’t look like the picture I once imagined. Maybe some things are still finding their way to me. Maybe some things are not meant for me at all. And maybe that’s okay too….

There is also something I want to tell the person who feels guilty for wanting more………..
Please don’t hate yourself for having dreams. Don’t make yourself feel selfish for wanting a better life. Don’t force yourself to call everything “enough” when your heart is still asking questions. Wanting more doesn’t mean you don’t appreciate what you have. It means you still have hope. And hope is not greed. You don’t have to choose between gratitude and ambition. Between being content and wanting to grow. Between loving your present and dreaming about your future… You can hold both. You can look at your life and say, “Thank you.” And then, with the same heart, say, “But I’m not done yet.”

Maybe that’s where I am right now. Not unhappy. Not completely satisfied either. Just somewhere in between. Grateful for the road behind me. Curious about the road ahead. Still carrying some disappointments. Still holding onto a few dreams. Still becoming. And maybe that’s enough for today. Because perhaps life isn’t asking me to have everything figured out. Perhaps I’m only supposed to keep walking… Keep learning. Keep hoping. Keep becoming the person I was meant to be.

So yes, I am grateful. For what stayed. For what left. For what taught me. For what broke me open. For the little things I once took for granted… For the things I prayed for and received. And even for the things I prayed for and didn’t. But I still want more from life. More moments that feel real. More courage. More laughter. More mornings that don’t feel rushed. More places. More love. More peace. More of the person I know is somewhere inside me…

And I’m finally learning that wanting more doesn’t make me ungrateful. It just means my story isn’t finished yet. And maybe yours isn’t either.

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